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Carolyn and Peter Scott travelled on our 'Spitsbergen - Realm of the Polar Bear' holiday and submitted their entry to our writing competition.
2015 Spitsbergen Naturetrek Charter by Peter Dunn
We were divided into three groups: the Hikers, the Enthusiastic Walkers and the Leisurely Walkers. The ship’s doctor, Veronique, attached herself to the Enthusiastic Walkers on the grounds that since this was the largest group, they would statistically have greater need for treatment. Her logic was thwarted, however, when the Enthusiastic Walkers split into two groups: the Very Enthusiastic Walkers and the Not so Enthusiastic Walkers. This division enabled the Hikers to reach the mighty glacier wall at Esmarbreen, the Very Enthusiastic Walkers to track reindeer at Blomstrandhalvoya, the Not so Enthusiastic Walkers to spend time estimating the speed of glacier movement, and the Leisurely Walkers to become expert in the 18 or so varieties of minuscule saxifrages found within 50 feet of landing sites and which will undoubtedly come to dominate the landscape once global warming has had its wicked way with the polar ice-cap.
Eventually, the Leisurely Walkers also split into two groups, the Not so Leisurely walkers and the Very Nearly Stationary walkers. The latter group retired to the bar and ship’s bridge where they became expert in spotting Blue, Fin and Humpback whales ‘in directions no one else was looking’.
All groups combined for a Zodiac excursion to experience the thousands of Brünnich’s Guillemots at the colony at Alkefjellet. This involved dodging guillemot poo – a remarkable airborne substance resembling araldite which is attracted by four-stroke engines. It has the ability to eat through Gortex, weld camera parts together and (according to Veronique) is also a source of potent avian parasites.
At 80 degrees 47 minutes north, 5 Polar Bears were feasting on a Bearded Seal – possibly the highlight of the trip for everyone, except the seal. And at Smeerenburg, a group of Walrus was spotted sunbathing on the strand. Everyone got great pictures of flatulating animals – some even including the Walruses. At Fugelsongen we enjoyed being surrounded by thousands of little auks and to hear their chicks calling for their parents. Meanwhile, the Nearly Stationary Walkers spent their time Zodiac’ing around with magnificent views and myriads of birds flying overhead.
A lady hiker, envious of the lifestyle and Bombay Sapphire being enjoyed by the Very Nearly Stationary Walkers, decided to switch groups and was followed by like-minded friends. Birders from the hikers enticed birders from the Not so Enthusiastic Walkers with stories of the Ivory Gulls etc they had seen. Group boundaries were overlapping and things were getting complicated. A very-nearly-not so-enthusiastic-walking-birders group was proposed, but defeated on a re-count. Overall, a good time was had by all.
Philosophical questions remain:
Why does a Bearded Seal only have a moustache?
Which was named first, the Common Guillemot or the Brünnich’s Guillemot?
How come we lost weight despite three excellent meals a day?
Our sincere thanks go to all the Naturetrek guides and all the staff on Ortelius for their amazing knowledge, boundless enthusiasm and ability to ensure that everyone was catered for and had a brilliant holiday that none will forget.
Read more about our 'Spitsbergen - Realm of the Polar Bear' holiday.